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Above: The Regent's newly refurbished lobby area is a grand statement to the luxury hotel’s competence
 
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OR someone born in Asia who identifies more with Asian culture, I was particularly ill-prepared for my journey into Thailand. It was the end of a summer travelling around the world, seemingly a fixture now on my annual schedule; I had begun it in Osaka, Japan, followed by time in Seoul, where every element of the culture was familiar but the language as comprehensible to a Parisian in Prague.
   As I looked down into the Thai countryside from the Lufthansa flight, I could see the wide, brown rivers, rich farmland and temples, but my knowledge of the nation had largely been second-hand. Research from The King and I and the cinema version of The Man with the Golden Gun hardly armed me with Thai culture apart from being able to make jokes in conversations (e.g. 'His Majesty looks nothing like Yul Brynner'). I had committed the worst of the travellers' sins: flying into a nation with next to no knowledge.
   The French girl scouts who had flown out on the last two flights were getting anxious; French travellers seem to always be more community-oriented, shouting 'Allez allez allez' as the plane takes off or applauding on landing. They had spent much of the flight chatting and playing cards. I went to walk around, chatting to two Britons who were about to backpack through Thailand, with a similar level of knowledge to me but with a greater spirit of adventure. They could not inform me of how to greet people in Thai: it was looking oddly like my time in Seoul where the only words I knew for sure were yes, no, thank you and Hyundai Lantra.
   After relaying the human rights' abuses I had suffered in England to them (I still await a reply from the British High Commissioner and the Shadow Foreign Secretary about this; perhaps Tony Blair would care to answer?), we discussed everything but Thailand. There was an odd tension from the Britons as the German stewardesses walked by that could only be explained by Fawlty Towers.
   We didn't catch up after that; those I followed off the plane were the two Indian gentlemen sitting in my row. One had lived in Bangkok for 10 years, a computer expert who had gone to Frankfurt for a contract assignment. He told me more about everyday life, that Thai customs were not too tough, though honesty remained the best policy. He had brought back toys for his son. But I did not feel any more prepared.
   I found some solace knowing that I would be collected by an English-speaking car service and driven directly to the Regent Hotel, one of the most highly regarded in the city. The Regent was undergoing a multi-million-dollar lobby refurbishment (now completed) and had an outstanding reputation as the place to stay. It was not to be confused, however, with the Indra Regent—somehow the car service had made the mistake.
   A summer traveller can only remark how humid Bangkok is after the air-conditioned comfort of a Lufthansa 747. The car service awaited, an effeminate English-speaking Thai gentleman with a handwritten sign bearing my name greeting me. He had a firm handshake and led me to the car, although his colleague spoke only Thai. Once the address was properly sorted out, I embarked in an old Volvo 740 and discovered that my chauffeur was either a skilled Bangkok motorist, had a death wish, or had watched the chase scene orchestrated by French stunt supremo Rémy Julienne in The Man with the Golden Gun as part of his driver's test. It depends on which angle you look at it, but I have driven in the worst of Manhattan at all hours and had been on bus rides in Seoul—and always thought I was brave till I arrived in Bangkok.
   Perhaps the Regent's offer to collect me in a new Mercedes-Benz E-class (named after an old Chrysler, I wonder) for $35 would have been preferable. The Regent fleet was shiny and unmarked, a sign of automotive pampering and regular waxing, and safe Swabian driving.
   But I wasn't about to doze off, as I would when the same service collected me from the Regent at the end of my stay. I was back in Asia and unlike Osaka, Bangkok reminded me of the Asia of my childhood. There was that same familiar rush, that same coloured sky (which in adult life I credit more to pollution, though as a child it was the last thing on my mind), the same noises. The smell mightn't have been pleasant to someone who spends part of his year in New Zealand, but it was reassuring at the same time.
   Bangkok is Asian. It has a cocktail of Thai culture and what Hong Kong was like 25 to 30 years ago, a pizzazz and an unashamed celebration of Asian styles. There might be some discomfort at how western buildings and free market economies stood alongside temples and Thai culture, but that added to the charm. I would not call it disharmony, nor do I disparage it. It is alive, it has a soul, it has a feeling of great promise.
   There were other aspects of the Asia I knew in Bangkok, such as the tall buildings, a 10 ft high conference centre sign using a typeface I designed but which I knew was pirated by a local designer, and a growing affluence that could be seen by the newness of the automobiles that Thais could buy. A 2002 Toyota Corolla, still months away from its US release, zoomed by confidently.
   Yet despite this, 1970s cabs remained on the road (probably the same ones Roger Moore saw in The Man with the Golden Gun), trucks and taxis changed lanes without signalling (a complaint I could not level at my driver, even if 0·5 sec is a little too short a warning) and speed limits on the Bangkok expressways appeared to be advisory. If they were patrolled, then I saw no evidence of it. (On my outward journey, we were on the wrong side of the road by four lanes and passing a city cop who knew, as I did by then, that this was mere routine.)

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The Regent's lobby, newly renovated in October 2001. Spectacular interiors impress guests, a fitting prelude to the hotel’s comfortable rooms.

Quick facts about Bangkok

Wear loose, comfortable clothing: this city can get hot. Between March and June, temperatures are 27–35°C. During the rainy season between June and October—we saw little rain when there, however—temperatures typically drop only 3°C. In the wintertime, temperatures fall between 18°C and the mid-20s, making it an ideal time to visit with the humidity lower. You can get a chance to see in the New Year, whether Gregorian or Chinese (around January–February).
   Shorts are taboo at temples, at which you should also remove your shoes.
   Vaccinations for typhoid and polio are recommended although the chances of contraction are very slim.
   The official currency is the baht. The Regent accepts traveller's cheques and major credit cards; there is also a bureau de change. At the time of Lucire's visit, euro traveller's cheques were not exchanged, although this will have changed.
 

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