I only learned belatedly that one of our readers, Mr Erik Api of Queenstown, New Zealand, passed away last year.
Erik was a hairdresser and one of our ?rst print-edition subscribers. It’s very sad to lose any subscriber—because you feel you do have a bit of a kinship with your readers.
Maybe it struck me more than usual as I exchanged a couple of emails with Erik back in the day when we were setting the subscriptions’ side of things up.
It does appear that Erik died by his own hand, which brings up a valuable subject: are we getting the support we should from the things around us?
Our corporations sell us things but do they care?
I remember a great story about a customer going to a petrol station who actually reconsidered suicide because he got excellent service.
It makes me think that it is important that companies, even publications, like ours, be in a position to help our customers.
Erik may have suffered from depression, if I read between the lines of the Mountain Scene newspaper correctly.
And for men, we seldom talk about our conditions.
I invite our readers to post here, either on this blog or over at our forum, anonymously if they like. Sometimes talking helps—and being a man I know full well why we sometimes don’t admit to feeling down. We can—and we can even look at ways of helping each other get out of the dif?culties we are in, step by step.
All it takes is encouragement and mutual support.
When my mother passed away aged 54 I don’t think it is surprising for me to say that I was down for years.
It is not as easy as ‘Get over it,’ and it is something that is not easy to deal with. Other people have other concerns: ?nances, relationships, kids—but the fact is they are part of a grander lesson.
I don’t pretend to know the answers but I know dialogue helps. So, if any readers want to get something off their chest, maybe we can help one another.
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That is so very sad – and it is an incredible loss when anyone chooses to take their own life for whatever reason. We can only hope that he has found the peace he was looking for. My thoughts go out to his family and friends, and to you, Jack.
I had to write to your as i just read your article about Erik Api I was engaged to Erik for six years in my early 20’s – a very intense time in our lives – my first love. I still had a close relationship with him and naturally was devastated when he took his life. We had shared text messages only a week before (i’m married and live in London now). I don’t know why he did what he did. I like to believe it was a moment of madness. A spur of the moment thing, not thought thru or planned. Not intended to hurt anyone. I miss him so much. Thank you for writing about him!!
Mari and Angela, thank you for your comments. Angela, it always feels like a personal loss when a reader passes away—especially one who had some contact with us directly. Obviously the loss isn’t as strong for me, but it was still felt—and I hate the idea that people feel they have reached the end of their hopes. I hope we can provide his suicide with some extra meaning—maybe it will spur the rest of us to think that we have a responsibility to our customers beyond the sales’ transaction. I certainly feel that way.